The San Antonio Spurs and Golden St. Warriors played an epic double overtime game Monday night. For one San Antonio fan, it was just too much to handle. Anyone watching the game on TNT with the volume up could hear the fan. There was a female fan screaming at the top of her lungs anytime the Spurs made a play of any kind. It was a screeching, ear drum piercing scream that couldn’t be ignored.
Whomever she was, one thing was for certain, she was very close to the TNT microphones. She sounded so close that I thought about calling 911. Why? I convinced myself that veteran commentator Dick Stockton had kidnapped a prostitute and stashed her under his announcer’s table. Sorry Stockton, you’re a favorite of mine- but she sounded that close.
As plausible as that scenario seemed, it was clear that she was just a homer-Spurs fan communicating in teenage girlese. That’s right, teenage girlese, it’s a valid language. Just listen to teenage girls when Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake,- hell, anyone named Justin or anyone that’s been in a boy band before walks by them. They communicate in a series of screams and screeches that is indescribable. It’s as if this Spurs fan felt that way about her players. She screamed like the five Spurs on the floor were a boy band- and she was going to get noticed.
The sad part? She was probably a 47 year old school teacher from Abilene rather than a teenager.
Literally, every positive play down the stretch by the Spurs was accompanied by the ear-piercing screech. Anyone with a nice television with good sound may have had the police called on them. Take me for instance, – if anyone walked behind my house while the game was on, they likely thought I was murdering someone. Trust me, if I was murdering someone, I’d use duct tape, particularly for this victim. Fortunately I didn’t need duct tape, I just needed the mute button.